How To Overcome Shyness

Let’s say you’ve been invited to a dinner party by a friend and she is the only person you’ll know there. You have a few butterflies about it because you’re a bit on the shy side. But you don’t want to disappoint your friend. Maybe you’ll even have a good time so you agree to go.

Step One:

Pick out one person at the event who looks friendly. Strike up a conversation by introducing yourself and then asking a non-threatening question. It could be something like “Hi, I’m Tammy. I don’t know anyone here. Do you mind if I ask you a question?” Most likely that person will say, “Sure.” Then ask,  “Have you known {Host’s name} long?”

Or you could say, “Hi, I’m Tammy. I don’t know anyone here so I looked for a friendly face in the crowd and you’re it.” Then smile and let the other person talk. You’ll usually find that person will open up to a conversation. Repeat their name back to them so that you’ll remember it and use their name in your conversation.

Step Two:

Ask people questions about themselves. This allows them to open up and engage in a conversation. Pay them sincere compliments. For example, if the person has an attractive outfit, tell them that you like it. If that person has nice eyes or a great smile, compliment them. Again, be sincere. Phony compliments always backfire.

Step Three:

Look people in the eye. It lets them know you’re listening to what they’re saying. It’s easy to get distracted by what’s going on around you, so give the person you’re speaking with your undivided attention. It makes them feel important and you would want the same respect.  

All three of these steps in making people like you are easy to master and are adaptable to almost any social situation.

Remember ... life begins at the end of your comfort zone.