What is emotional wisdom?
Emotional wisdom is the collective
knowledge and experience that result from having lived a life of emotional
diversity. You obtain emotional wisdom by learning from past experiences and taking that which you’ve learned
into the future with you. It's a give-and-take. You receive the experiences and decide
what serves you the best to remember and use in the future.
Our emotions are continually giving
us messages about what feels good and what doesn’t, what feels right and what
feels wrong, what is acceptable and what isn’t, and the ultimate direction we
should be going. Our emotions tell us when things are great, or when they need
to be improved.
Let's examine four steps
to help you achieve greater emotional wisdom:
1. Listen - A huge part of developing
emotional wisdom is in learning how to listen to and interpret the experiences
we have. By listening to your emotions, you can gain a wide understanding of
what’s going on inside you. What’s going on inside you can affect your physical
health and mental well-being, so it pays to listen carefully. Doing so will
help you manage stress, which can manifest itself in many negative emotions.
2. Trust - Trust in your ability to feel
and be felt, and interpret your emotions accurately. Trust that you can handle
whatever emotions come your way - after all, you’re still here, aren’t you? We
are all much more capable than we tend to give ourselves credit for, so while
you’re listening to your emotions, trust that what you’re hearing is the truth.
Never second guess yourself when it comes to feeling. Whatever it is you are
feeling is valid and worthy.
3. Reflect - Your ability to look at your
emotions realistically in relation to the situations with which they arise is
important in developing your emotional wisdom. Notice I said reflect - not
react. As you're listening to your emotions, logically examine whether your
emotion matches the situation that it came from. Often, we are used to telling
ourselves stories regarding our emotions that simply aren’t true - they are
just habits. Therefore, honest reflection is a truly valuable skill to possess.
4. Adjust - The ability to adjust your
emotion to your present situation is a sign of true emotional wisdom. Like
anything, this takes practice, but when you learn to properly interpret the
messages your emotions send you, you can adjust as necessary.
True emotional wisdom comes from
looking within and listening carefully to what we feel to give us clues that
help us live healthier, happier, more productive lives.
